Pinetar News

April 2004

April Manager of the Month

Posted by Yeags on May 6, 2004

We have a clear majority folks!

CONGRATULATIONS to Mr. Duffy aka Duff of the Madhatters. Word on the street is that you are simply dominating.

Everyone who voted (Statman and Mikey are the only 2 who failed to (booo!)) voted for Duff except Mr. Humble himself (Duff) who voted for Tanner.

Duff is the April 2004 MOTM!!

Cobras open the season to extremely high expectations.

BY AL COHOLIC

Associated Press April 18, 2004

Providence - The Cobras today announced that Roger Clemens will start the season opener against Elmore and his Scalwags.

Team GM Statman agreed to answer a few questions...

AP- Today you announced that Roger Clemens will start the opener. It was widely assumed that Kip Wells would get that honor. Why the switch?

Statman- I don't think we switched at all. We have several very talented SPs. Kip Wells is great and he will start game 2 or 3, but Roger had an almost perfect pre-season and I felt he deserved the start.

AP- What are your expectations for this season?

Statman- We expect to win Pinetar. We have a very strong team. Our pitching should be a strength and our offense may be the best in the league.

AP- That is a very strong statement considering the talent in Pinetar.

Statman- I know, and I'm sure that each and every other team going into this season also believes their team will win. But when I look at this team, I can't help but get excited.

AP- Craig Wilson looked great this Spring, but he is blocked at 1st by Helton. What do you plan to do with him?

Statman- Wilson is a big part of this team. He will backup Helton and he will get a number of starts in the outfield. He has a great bat and we want it in the lineup.

AP- The catching situation looks weak. What are your plans there?

Statman- We hope to have Hammock back in a few days and assuming he is healthy, we should be okay. But we are considering FA pickups or even a trade to upgrade that position.

AP- Who is the starter at 3B?

Statman- We are happy to have 2 good players to choose from. Both Castilla and Bell will get playing time. So, I can't really say there is a set starter at this point.

AP- Some criticized the recent signing of Roberto Alomar. Why do you think that is?

Statman- I don't know. Alomar is a couple of years removed from his great seasons. We signed him to backup Giles, so I don't expect him to get much playing time, but I like to have an experienced backup whenever possible and Alomar will provide that.

AP - Thank you for the time Statman, it sounds like an exciting season is upcoming. Good luck to you and the Cobras

Pinetar Trade Winds

Posted by Shack on April 16, 2004

It starts again. :)

Glad to see you like my trade Stat. Of course, everyone seemed to like my side of my trade with Fambo last year, but I ending up watching Jenkins hit bombs for Fambo while Wade Miller was getting bombed for the Predators. Everyone also seemed to think it was a great deal for me getting RJ in a deal where I dealt Webb to get him. Again, I watched Webb finish very strong, while RJ struggled. The only deal I made last year that everyone didn't like my side was the Bonds deal. In fact, following that deal, Len stated that it would be the reason I would be demoted from Pinetar last year, and I proceeded to go on a long winning streak, taking over the league lead to stay. Hmmm...On second thought, I would be much happier if you guys didn't like my side of the deal. :)

Don't want to discuss the deal too much, as I don't want to get involved in another argument like took place last season, but I will point out that Peavy is a very solid young pitcher pitching in what is very much a pitcher's park while Oswalt is more of an injury concern than Peavy and has a very good hitter's park as his home field. And Lidge is one of the best relievers in the league, and will give you the important long relief outings. The trade discussion went as follows: I asked Fambo if he'd be willing to discuss Oswalt, among others. He told me what he wanted for him, which was the exact deal we ended up making. After his offer, we discussed the possibility of expanding it to include other players, but couldn't agree on that, so we went with the original offer.

Shack

The Waves of Change

Posted by MIkey on April 15, 2004

Dateline: Toronto

Incumbent tsunami manager, Rip Tide, was summarily dismissed from his duties today. This is somewhat surprising, if only for the fact that the season has not even started.

When the current tsunami owner, the reclusive French-Canadian Beaver pelt tycoon Michel Raymond, was finally located, he had the following statement.

"I got rid of Monsieur Reep Tide because I did not like his looks, so there!!"

This seems to be an interesting management theory, to say the least.

The new manager, big Kahuna, comes to the team fresh from a stint with the Ko Ko Nutt Pineapples of the Pacific (Ocean) League.

Apparently that is his real name. His parents must have loved him a bunch.

Mr big, as we like to call him, actually as he has ordered us to call him, plans to manage using the concept of fooligarchic government.

We believe this means "Management by an Idiot".

So it seems, the more things change, the more they remain the same.

Stay tuned.

The FINAL 2004 Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM

Posted on April 3, 2004

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CATCHER

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Totals After Rd. 7

Steamers.......116

Cobras..........115

MadHatters....113

Scalawags.....109

Bartenders.....109

Tsunami........101

Road Humps...101

Predators......100

BoyZ Bluz......100

Panthers.........85

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 BoyZ Bluz: I said it elsewhere. $4,400 for Piazza is a waste. He's going down yet again, and I don't think they're talkin' about his personal life. Mediocre fill-in Brad Ausmus backs Piazza up, but at least he guarantees the Boyz some apps. so they don't have to have their hearts broken by Pizza-man. Nice backup in Todd Pratt, Piazza's old and Lieberthal's present backup. We like him, too. But, no marks for the third catcher since most don't, and most shouldn't, carry 3 of them. 11 points for all of this.

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 Mikey's Big Japanese Wave, Tsunami: Innocent-until-proven guilty of rape Castro supported by Johnny Estrada, The Braves new everyday player who has done well this spring, and Eddie Perez, The Braves other catcher who plays full time if Estrada falters. Very fine draft, even if Castro goes in the clink. Lots of apps. Some nice power, too. Many good things could happen. Let's go with the constitutional presumption of innocence and give Mikey full marks for all of this: 15 points.

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 PredatorsExpo Brian Schnieder for a fair price of $660, Moeller the Brew-Crew's starter, for what it's worth and for about the same, and Todd Greene still trying to find a spot, this time in Colorado behind Charles for $240. Apps. a-plenty but hard to get excited. Still, there's something to be said about not having to worry. 8 points

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Road Humps: $2960 on deposit for Kendall, to be returned after the trade. A fine price of $330 for Space Chum fav. Mike Matheny, and low money for Giant backup Torrealba. The 3000k back for Kendall will give Fambo the money lead for FA's. If it doesn't happen, great..then Matheny's the backup. Can't go wrong here, unless you carry 3 catchers for too long. Unfair to grade on a trade not yet made, so let's call it full marks for Kendall and Matheny. 15 points.

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Scalawags: Mssrs. Lieberthal ($4,050), and backups Ross from LA and Ojeda from SDG. Lieberthal only played in 131 games last year...good for a catcher, I suppose, but bad if you don't have enough apps. to back him up. And, he's 32 this year and getting nagging aches and pains associated with most old catchers. Ojeda, sits behind the New Prince of NL Catchers, Ramon Hernandez, who SDG is gonna run into the ground. Ross gets to play if Shawn has to play the OF and LoDuca goes to first. If not, not. All this is to say, that there may be some concern about apps. here. Other than that, I'd be happy with Lieberthal in my foxhole any day. 9 points.

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Bartenders: Roscoe has no probs. w/AJ and his backup, Brew-Crew backup Gary Bennett. Tom Wilson, who was beaten out by Ojeda, and will be one of the first players he drops. 11 points.

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Cobras: Stat chooses Hammock on the come for $1150. Can he come back from arthroscopic surgery? If so, will he play at catcher? Right now, AZ's going with Mayne and Estalella. Chums sense it's gonna stay that way. Meanwhile, Red's starter Jason LaRue (only 114 starts last year) opens for the Cobras with Piazza backup Vance Wilson in the background, but not very much in sight. Not great offense here and some real app. concerns. 6 points.

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Panthers: Cubbie Michael Barrett for a nice price of $620. He'll start off fine and then Dusty will run him into the ground. By August, he'll have lost 50 lbs and 50 points off his batting average. But we like him! (of course). Thank goodness Old Man River Charles Johnson to provide some help and pop, if not start. Gregg Zaun was taken, but is irrelevant to this team. Nice little combo here. 15 Points.

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 MadHatters: LoDuca, at a fair price; Mayne, Az's current starter, for a steal of $100, and Cubbie backup Paul Bako. Only issue is where LoDuca is playing. If so, nice squad. If not, and Hammock comes back to catch, not so nice. Space Chum Roy Campanella suggests playing the ball and not letting the ball play you. That means, LoDuca's catching and Duff chooses Mayne as his backup. Almost full 13 points for that.

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The Queen City Steamers: Ramon Hernandez for about $3000k; probable future Marlin starter, and current fine backup, Mike Redmond for a chintzy $140, and irrelevant Shawn Wooten. Well done. Full marks. 15 points.

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 Totals After Rd. 8

Steamers.......131

MadHatters....126

Cobras..........121

Bartenders.....120

Scalawags.....118

Tsunami........116

Road Humps...116

BoyZ Bluz......111

Predators......108

Panthers.......100

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 Going into the nonsense round and free agency, the Steamer's small advantage is leavened but their relative lack of funding for the rest of the year.

Duff, Stat and Roscoe are strong on his tail, with Stat having a small $$$ advantage over the other two.

Elmore, Fambo and Mikey are coming up strong.

Z and Shack (the $$$ winner) have some, but not a lot of, work to do and the guile and cash to do it with.

All the while, LC sits quietly, perched to pounce with her dynamnite IF and ready to do enough damage to make her a contender.

It's such a knowledgable and fine group of managers in this league... and the player talent is so evenly spread, that every team is worthy of respect and could pull it off. And, the FA market if rife with talent to be picked off by the wily investor.

In other words, you're gonna have a great season playing each other and .... be scared, very scared! But have fun!

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 Good luck this season!

We'll be watching over you.

Thanks for letting us take part!

PSYCHIC SLIM & The Space Chums

3b Draft Analysis

Posted by Dr. Jay on April 3, 2004

Real quick, real dirty:

1. BoyZ BluZ, got third or fourth best 3B (RAmirez) and stayed in first place for Piazza. Wigginton will have decent apps and stats for a backup.

2. Humps, Ensberg might be taking over top spot from Rolen, if last year is any indication, and especially since Jimi finally wised up and played him everyday. De Rosa may also surprise if he ever gets teh chance to play every day.

3. Panthers, got the #1, but spent to do it (Rolen), dropped waaaay back for Catcher.

4. Predators, Shack got deent production in Burroughs. If Larson ever performs up to the hype, you've got a gem. Moved up 2 spots. Excellent.

5. Tsunami. Took chance that Alfonso will bounce back, but more importantly, Mikey moved up to number 2 from the fifth position. Tough to do at this stage, and you didn't have to make too much of a sacrifice.

6. Cast the big net and landed Lowell at #4. Slipped a spot for Catcher, but that doesn't hurt much. Lowell's injury risk and possible trade-bait status are a worry.

7. Bartenders. Good middle of the road talent here. Why was Beltre over a mil? Even so. Len moved up a spot.

8. Cobras. Not much left for STat at number 8, but Castilla might see a one-season resurgence at his old Coors stomping grounds. Could surprise. Bell will play, but that's about it.

9. Steamers. Helms could continue to produce like he did last year, which wouldn't be a bad grab at 10. Zeile will also get some starts.

10. Hatters. Utley may get some chances if Bell screws up or gets hurt. Batista seems a bit of a reach, and at the ninth position, Helms may have been a better choice. I've never liked Batista, so Duff get's the Dr. Jay grudge award.

Sorry this is so brief. Gotta run. I'll do your catcher and league preview when I return on Sunday or Monday.

Bye!

The Penultimate Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM

Posted on April 3, 2004

THIRD BASE

Totals After Rd. 6

MadHatters....106

Cobras:.........104

Steamers.......103

Scalawags:......99

Bartenders:.....94

Tsunami:........92

Road Humps:...88

BoyZ Bluz:......86

Predators:......85

Panthers........75

BoyZ Bluz: Powerful, error-prone Aramis and Ty Wigginton. Appearances galore, Ty will be there every game to provide good stats off the bench. And, #1 in the Catcher draft. 14 points

League Question to No One in Particular: Kendall? Rank him high and get your money back when he goes to Seattle but lose out on a #1 catcher, or rank him low and let some other sucker draft him as his/her #1 catcher? You Advisors from the Astral Plane suggest the latter.

Road Humps: Ensberg and DeRosa. Space Chum Nellie Fox guarantees Ensberg will have a great year in the 'Stros protected lineup. DeRosa is a fine utility guy who'll now be the starter at 3rd. Wes Helms numbers? No, but nice backup/off-the-bench numbers here, dontcha think? And, maybe even at 2nd, if Giles is hexed, as you-know-who think he is. All for a measley $100. Not a bad tandem, everything considered. 13 Points for all of this. And Fambo's positioning himself well for the all-important RP draft.

Panthers: Top price for the top NL 3rd baseman (Active, that is, after Ron Santo). Keith Ginter was sent down to AAA 3 days ago and isn't an option. Big deal. Rolen played in 160 games last year. You'll find someone to support him, LC. Still, can't give full points for lack of a back up. 10 Points.

Scalawags: Mike Lowell for $3,850 and Chris Stynes for $180. Lowell is alot of dough for having a 50-50 chance of not playing more than half a season. But he's good and powerful, no question about it. (Okay, this is sour grapes. He turned down the Cubs. Smart man). As for Stynes, his last mention by rotoworld.com says it best: "Chris Stynes Latest News Mar. 20, 2004 - 6:48 pm et: Chris Stynes went 0-for-3 today, leaving him 6-for-38 (.158) this spring.Stynes will enter the season as a regular no matter how badly he continues to play. He is better than this, but you can expect him to be one of the weaker everyday players in the NL this year." A liberal 10 points for all of this.

Predators: The Space Chums like Sean Burroughs' chances of growing up this year. Match him with Brandon Larson for $440, and ... "What's to complain about?" chimes in Uncle Julius "The Vacuum Cleaner" Schwartz (1918-1996), 3rd Baseman for Fritzy's House of Drapes, Lewiston, Maine (1927-1996). A very nice, potentially potent combo here, if and when Larson returns from the DL. And #3 in the catcher draft, too. 15 points.

Tsunami: Edgardo Alfonzo, this year taken 6th, and for only $1,420 is another amazing example of how the marketplace "remembers" downside stuff better than upside. Suffice it to say, the guy hit 48 RBI in the second half of last season and brought his BA way up, relatively. He should do much better this year, and Mike got a good value here. Mikey also got insurance in getting fellow Giant Feliz, just in case the Chums got it wrong. #2 for Catchers in nice, too. 9 Points.

Bartenders: Shea and Adrian. Another nice combo,especially since Shea is getting chronic injuries and Adrian is beginning to come into his own, just 1 year late. Power here, and good app. and bench support provided. 15 points.

Cobras: Vinny on life-support in OzoneLand. David Bell under Bowa's psychotic eye in Philly. I'd rather be Vinny. Apps. covered. Some power. Certainly will be "interesting" to watch. Anything's a plus, 'cause only bad is expected. Ok..it's not that bad. 9 Points.

MadHatters: Batista is not well-thought of by Stats, Inc. "The decline in his batting average and power, couple with a noticeable decline in his defense at third, decreases his value." Stats is wrong. Tony's gonna tare...tere..tear..er kill NL pitching. He's an Expo, dammit!!! Chase Utley is a real gem, if Bowa let's him play. Probably won't. 7 Points.

Steamers: Space Chum favoriate Wes Helms is below everyone's radar screen. But CJ will enjoy his steady pace with power and elegant grace at the bag. (nice turn of phrase!) Support from Old Man River Todd Zeile won't hurt the Queen City Steamers navigate the season. 13 Points.

Totals After Rd. 7

Steamers.......116

MadHatters....113

Cobras:.........113

Scalawags:....109

Bartenders:....109

Tsunami:.......101

Road Humps:..101

Predators:.....100

BoyZ Bluz:.....100

Panthers.......85

Good luck tonight!

Psychic Slim & The Space Chums

The Further Devinations gUeSsEs of bIzArRo PSYCHIC sLiM

Posted on April 2, 2004

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SHORTSTOP

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Totals After Rd. 4

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MadHatters....96

Steamers.......95

Scalawags:....94

Cobras:.........91

Bartenders:....89

Road Humps:..83

Tsunami:.......82

Predators:.....77

BoyZ Bluz:.....76

Panthers.......66

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 bOyZbLuZ me lik teem name. Lotz of Z's iN iT. mE rEElLy hAtE kael green. Supey has same first name. fUn to whatch Kael all seeson. maybbee he fall flat on face. mabbee knot. Roman emperor to back him up. No one bax me up. They Ownly bak Supey. Y know-1 lik me? tEn pts.

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 sCaLaWaGs Jimmee Rllns iz bad 'cuz he promiz to bee guud & aint. butT he dozn't stay home sik alot with flew & stuff. (i Lik bunnies. dUe u?). & Bery lArk-in is from Phantom Zone. mabee play 6 or 7x bee4 he brake butT or sumthing. !!!!! pts.

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 big wave teem: citrus is gunna bee guud dis yr. me lik.Mikee lik-2. bIlL hAlL gunna pla iN lottsa spots. kent hert 2 hav him2. tEn pts.

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 fuRry KiTtens: nice lady got beter Alx. he ken hit sumX & Awlays plas. bIzArO laff 2see Hockey stil alive. He gud sub sumtX. 9 poynts.

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 RudeHumps: Klaytun sux eevn in OZoneLand. Weelsun no hlp. 5 pynts.

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 SkareeSnAkeMen: Too nice startrs for statmonkee. Frum veree down on totem pole, two. Snakepeople Skaree teem knoww. thurteen pynts.

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 Pre-Daters: Ever-eat gud boy. on gud teem. (fluffy ponies are fun). Cowsel used to sing with familee butT know pla ok bakup. How cum noone bax bYzArRo? Ate pynts.

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 InnAblers: chyCAWgo Agun sux. Bakup jest az bad. butT apps. therr. 5 pynts.

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 CrazyCaps: Oh Lando is funnee nam. (knOt az funnee az jErree leeWiz, tho). heee in sTar wArs or sumthing? Anywaz, he pla gud. Vasquez knot nesisary but nic. 10 pynts.

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 Doodies:fUrCal gud. pErEz bad. 8 pynts.

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Totals After Rd. 5

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MadHatters....106

Cobras:.........104

Steamers.......103

Scalawags:....99

Bartenders:....94

Tsunami:.......92

Road Humps:..88

BoyZ Bluz:.....86

Predators:.....85

Panthers.......75

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 Guud luk tookniht!

Psychic bYzArRo SlIm & The Space Chums NOBODEE!!(sOb!)

SS Draft Analysis

Posted by Dr. Jay, on April 2, 2004

Okay, sorry, but this has to be quick and dirty. I'm on a bit of a tight schedule. Also, I'm going out of town this weekend, beginning at noon tomorrow. I will try to get 3B analysis done before I leave, but I can't promise anything. Also, Catcher will have to wait until Sunday or Monday, and I apologize in advance for that delay. But, I will also rate each team after the draft is complete and offer predictions. Obviously, these predictions will only account for the team that you drafted, not for FA pickups or trades during the session, but, it should be fun, anyway.

So, here we go. Again, it's wholly subjective, but I've based my rankings on both talent and maneuvering, and we're going in reverse order:

9. tie between the Panthers and the Bartenders. Really I only did this because you both got Alex Gonzalez. LC got the Florida variety, while Len went with the Chicago flavor. They're really similar, in names, OPS productions, and levels of mediocrity. And I'm probably drafting one of them tonight as I sit uncomfortably in the 10th position in Pegasus. Still LC might get a slight edge, because she actually gained one draft position (to the third spot) for third. Len gained 2 positions, but is still in the 6th spot. But, then I might give the edge to Len for getting the better backup in RE Martinez while LC picked up Hocking, who won't play or produce much. So, a tie at 9th it is.

8 Scalawags. Elmore gets Rollins and Larkin from the second position. Rollins will be a really good pickup for this year, and he'll give Elmore solid production. Larkin is a mystery and is fading fast. Who knows how long he'll be able to keep the starting position either for lack of production or for injury. And dropping 2 spots in the process may have been a bit costly with these two picks, which rates the 'wags an 8th place finish for SS.

7. Tsunami. You can't argue with picking up Cintron at number three, and Hall will provide decent numbers as a backup for both the 'Wave and for the Brewers. Good talent. Losing three spots for third base is okay, as the depth this year I pretty good. So, I've got no problem with what Mikey did here, it's just that the other 6 teams had a better combination of talent, draft position and intangibles. Good round for the 'Wave.

6. Predators. Shack gambled on Everett (and I'll await his reasoned and eloquent response for why Everett was the best SS in the whole draft ;-). He's solid, just not stellar. Still picking at 7th he may not have hoped for better...Except for Furcal. However, getting Furcal here would have cost the Preds draft position. As it is, they now have the fifth pick, which should nab them a better 3B than the 7th slot would (or maybe he's climbing the ladder for Piazza?). Anyway, bit of a gamble that could pay off as Everett may begin coming into his own. He's got a huge righty/lefty discrepancy. Unfortunately, he hits better against lefties (.911 vs. .648). While that will be great for Shack when opponents start lefties against him, Everett himself may not get that many AB in the NL Central (74 in 2003), and even BBM teams typically face more righties too. Cousell is a decent backup, but his production is sliding as he gets older. Still, he'll provide some potential diversity in the lineup.

5. Humps. Congrats, Fambo, BTW, on your anniversary. Anytime you can do anything for 25 years, you've got to feel good. Well done! Now, as for your SS draft. Clayton and Wilson are the all underachieving pair in this round. They'll give you plenty of starts, and maybe Wilson will finally start hitting the ball further than the infield dirt. Clayton playing in Coors is a big plus, and his OPS should improve somewhat this year, so you have a serviceable SS pair. I give you bonus points, though, for moving up three spots for 3B. A small sacrifice in talent with Renteria, Furcal, and Cabrera still on the board at your pick, but I think the gain you'll get in your 3B of either Rolen or Ensberg will be well worth it. Nice job.

4. BoyZ BluZ. Greene and Izzy. Izzy will fill in as needed, but won't give you much production. Greene is a bit of a gamble, as he's unproven, but a lot of prognostications have him being 2004 ROY, so it was probably worth the risk. Plus, Z was able to maintain first for the next round. He'll either get himself a whale of a 3B or Piazza. Can't argue with that strategy. Nicely managed, Sir Z.

3. MadHatters Pinetar is gaining distinction for being cheapskates and letting high priced talent drop down to the bottom feeders. This is a good way for Pinetar to achieve parity and lay claim as a highly competitive league. Kudos to all thee of the top finishers in this round for casting wide nets. That strategy landed quite a catch. For Duff, he benefits with Cabrera dropping all the way to 9th. Wow! Merry Draftmas indeed! Vazquez will provide more than capable backup.

2. Cobras Another Draftmas boon is Renteria slipping to Stat at number 6. Are you guys crazy?!? Does Stat's reputation not precede him in Pinetar? You've heard of him, haven't you? He won Pegasus last year in a landslide, remember? So, you hand him Helton, Giles, and Renteria. Still too early, but I'd say it's almost "goodnight, Irene." Man oh man, Stat must be as giddy as a school girl. I don't even care who his backup is (Perez, what a loser), and I bet neither does Stat.

1. But, Stat doesn't win the round, that honor goes to Crazy Joe and the Steamers, who thought they would be getting coal in their stockings when it turned out to be Rafael Furcal! "Wow", thought Joe, "all is indeed right with the world! The only thing to make this truly the best Draftmas ever was if I got an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" Well, maybe tomorrow morning, Joe. Draftmas isn't over yet. Tomas Perez fully completes this coup from the 10th position as he'll give Joe starts at 3rd, something he'll need since he's still drafting 10th for that position.

Well. There you have it.

And here me exclaim

As I type out of site

Merry Draftmas to all

And to all a good night!

The Further Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM SECOND BASE

Posted April 1, 2004

Totals After Rd. 3

Steamers.......91

MadHatters....86

Cobras:.........85

Scalawags:....84

Bartenders:....80

Road Humps:..78

Tsunami:.......74

Predators:.....69

BoyZ Bluz:.....68

Panthers.......56

Panthers: Kent and Castro. Things are looking better, LC. Jeff's in a contract year, whole team is pumped, no reason he shouldn't do very well ... if he keeps away from Mr. Goodwrench & Co. Castro is the ubiquitous IF backup ... gaining more value now due to the dearth of 2d basemen. 10 points for all of this.

BoyZ Bluz: Robbie and Mr. Reyes from NYC. I think $840's alot to pay for a backup 2d baseman. On the other hand, Reyes shouldn't be the backup which means that price is fine but $1180 was too much for Robbie. Unlike others, The Space Chums have "seen" Robbie "play" in person in the last year ... alot. (They're closet ChiSox fans). While they know Az. is good for "elderly" folk, they don't think AZ will re-vitilize him. "That," says Antoine Freud, Ziggy's first-cousin, and the self-proclaimed "smarter one", "is nothing but poppy-cock!" (Memo to Dr. Jay: It's comforting to know the founding fathers had such a fine scientific basis for your profession, no?). Reyes..healthy or no? SC Evita Goldstein (from the Argentinian family line)says "No." I say "yes." I win. 6 points for him, 2 for Robbie, on the come. 8 total.

Cobras: Giles and Space Chum fav. Bo Hart. 8 for Giles, cause he's the real deal. - 2 points for Bo Hart 'cause he's going South and the Cobras have no backup.

Tsunami: The Polancky-Man in Philly for $2650. A lot of dough. But it ain't mine so I don't care. Kata for $230 as a backup. Nice choice. 8 Pts. for all of this.

Scalawags: Loretta for $2130. Fair price for a fine 'lil player who's finally getting respect. Grudz. is the backup, if he's ok. If not, Loretta's got it all covered anyway. Pretty decent team. 10 Pts for all the substancd and no worries.

Predators: Vidro sure fell far, didn't he. Hell, I'd take a chance on Vidro being okay any day. 9-1 (year long fear factor) = 8 points. Supposed star in the making Abe Nunez is the lifeline in case Vidro goes down. Not much of one to us. 0 points (right now).

Road Humps: Ray-Ray (ChiSox affectionate name for Mr. Durham): 7 points. Nagging injuries, age and that zhe nay say qua (just joking, I really do know Italian) starts taking it's toll.Damian Jackson is the backup. But not this life cycle. - 2 points. for this.

Bartenders: Todd Walker for $1350. Bad news is it's alot to pay for a backup, Roscoe. Good news is he may go to the A's so you'll get your bread back. Let Junior Spivey play for you all year ... unless he goes to the A's and you're left w/o any starting 2d baseman. Let's pretend none of this is happening and call it the way it is now: Spivey's a fine all-year mediocre choice at 2nd and Walker'll back him up in fact, 'cause Grudz ain't gonna last at 2nd for the Cubbies. +, Walker'll give you some 1st base and Of apps. too. So, hmmm.... 9 Points for all of this...with a better than even chance it's going down to 0 points.

MadHatters: Luis Castillo, nice price for $1440; Alex Cora, too much for $100. Apps covered and some nice positive stats as well. 10 Pts.

Steamers D'Angelo Ex-Sox Alert!!! and Anderson (Is he staying or going? Is Womack hurt or not? If he's going, is he going to an NL team? Probably not.) Let's grade it as D'Angelo w/o a backup. 4 Points.

Totals After Rd. 4 *

MadHatters....96

Steamers.......95

Scalawags:....94

Cobras:.........91

Bartenders:....89

Road Humps:..83

Tsunami:.......82

Predators:.....77

BoyZ Bluz:.....76

Panthers.......66

* Statistical Margin of Error: + or - 30 points

Good luck tonight!

Psychic Slim & The Space Chums

1b Draft Analysis

Posted by Dr. Jay on April 1, 2004

Okay, day four, must mean it’s time for seconds. The exam is over, they all failed. Each time one of them asked me to clarify something, I took my anger out on you all by finding fault with ALL of your choices (well, they asked a lot of questions today). That’s called displacement, a theory first articulated by Sigmund Freud. I’m sure he’s some kind of distant relative to Antoine, as they both are equally versed in the art of anecdotal evidence. (BTW Slim, while Freud is obviously one of the first round draft choices of modern psychology, there are a bunch of other sleepers out there that would give you more production for far less cash. Wundt and Titchener for instance, or perhaps even more valuable is William James (isn’t he one of your favorites?). James' contribution to the scientific side of the field is unquestioned. His theories suck, in retrospect, but you have to admire his methods..)

But, whoa, that’s quite the digression. If you’re actually still reading this, I guess we’d better start talking about results real quick. Hey! Someone slap Mikey and Shack, they’re drooling on their desks.

Okay, I have absolutely no system today. This is pure gut. I went into my exam without a calculator, so I couldn’t do averages today. (Just like the word processor with it’s “spellcheck” has robbed me of my once-gifted ability to spell, the revolution of the slide rule, and it’s cousin the abacus, began my downfall for mathematical computations. The calculator ruined it all, and now my brain is merely in stimulus/response mode when it comes to pushing keys on the keyboard. But hey, the food pellets sure are tasty, and they change my cage once a week, so I can’t complain.

So, in completely subjective order we have…

1. The Predators. Well that was probably worth waking up for, huh Shack? Getting Vidro with the sixth pick is a major snag. That alone warrants you first place for this round. And it only cost you one place in draft order. Nice work. Nunez is a “so, what?” but he’ll give you some starts if you need him. Small injury worry with Jose, and that trade rumor with him in his walk year are little annoyances, but ride him while you got him (any comments about a huge Johnson at this point would be most appropriate)

2. Boyz Bluz. Great solid 2-some in Alomar and Reyes. I think Robbie’s best days are beyond him, but I also think he’ll do better this year than last (I saw one publication that estimated an .800+ OPS. I think that’s optimistic, because the OPS formula doesn’t account for F.O.P. – Force of Spit – when it cranks out it’s numbers. If it did, then I’d have to say that was a good estimate. But he’s still a decent plug-in for the infield). And, to also get another starter in Reyes and move to number rates this as a damn fine round for Z.

3. Scalawags. They could rate the best round. They moved up 3 spots to the second position for SS, which will nab them high quality there, or they can wait for Rolen. Loretta is solid. He won’t duplicate last year, but he’ll still put up good numbers for a second baseman. Grudz as a backup is okay, but I think others are right in that he won’t keep his job for long. However, Grudz has always been undervalued, so you never know. Good round here.

4. Panthers. . Good pickup in Kent, he’s a Lady’s man, and she must have been gunning for him from the get go. Nice job. I think he’s back to normal and will have a better year this year than last. Castro is okay, too, because he’ll fill in at second when Larkin goes down and Jimenez moves to short for the Reds. Good, good round. Would rank higher, but you took a hit in rankings for SS.

5. Cobras. Another great round, nabbing Giles in the 3 hole. Hart will be back up at some point this year, but I’m not sure you can be that patient to hold on to him til he reappears. Still, Giles by himself was well worth every penny and every slot dropped for SS. But, a slide here costs you a top notch SS. That’s not bad, but it’s enough to get you the #5 ranking for the round. Good draft Stat’s got going here.

6. Bartenders . Walker and Spivey. Spivey will be the primary starter here, at least at the beginning of the season. For no reason at all, I’ve also got the feeling he’s going to really improve this year, so you may have yourself a steal, Len. Walker will provide good utility work at second and several other positions, but how long will he be in the NL? I don’t know. If I did know, I’d be doing something else besides teaching psychology to a bunch of ungrateful snot nosed entitled punks, I tell you that.

7. Tsunami. I had trouble ranking Mikey’s team today. Maybe it was the thought of his cool logo and the nice image of the beach in summer it gave me, coupled with the sheer panic of an incoming tidal wave and the flood that would ensue. That kind of relaxation/panic combination really confused me, so like I said, I had trouble ranking this team. I like the combo of Polanco and Kata. I think Placido will play a lot of third, particularly as I think David Bell is a bust and will lose his job. Kata though is a good backup. He won’t be able to start at 2B much, but he’ll give Mikey a bunch of versatility at various positions. Tough one. Confusing. Probably better than I think.

8. Humps. I like Durham. He spends some of his offseason here in Charlotte, so that’s a big plus. In fact, one of the fathers of a kid on my son’s baseball team has seen him hitting at some local cages. Cool. He’ll produce a good bit for Fambo, and he’s probably the 4th or 5th best 2B available this year. Jackson’s pick brings this down. It only happened yesterday that he got cut, so it may have been too late for Fambo to make an adjustment, but Damian is currently jobless, and his best prospect is in Oakland. So that leaves you with no backup.

9. Steamers. Jimenez and Anderson. Both will get a fair amount of playing time, and Marlon will give you versatility at other positions. I really think this should be higher, but I couldn’t figure out how much, so I kept putting it here. It seems like it should be better, but I guess it comes down to CJ getting two mediocre 2B. It’s nice that he’ll get a lot of starts from them, and perhaps Jimenez will play like he did the second half last year. I’m not believing that he can, but that’s just me, and my opinion ain’t worth squat (unless you were one of the students who just took my exam, then the fate of the rest of your life rests precisely with my opinion)

10. MadHatters. Again, I had a hard time with this one for some reason. I like Castillo. I had him last year, and I was glad I did. And, in the nine spot, you probably weren’t even expecting to get him that low, Duff. Nice pick up late in the first round. It’s just he’s more speed that power, and speed doesn’t count for much in BBM. It’ll help and I don’t think you could have done anything except maybe nab Spivey. Cora is okay. He’ll play, so you have the position covered.

Okay, I’m tired. I’ve got a mountain of tests to grade, plus 3 classes worth of papers that I’ve had sitting on my desk since before the draft started. I probably still won’t look at them until after my second draft is over, which is after Easter. Luckily, I’ve already had the students fill out my teaching evaluations for this semester, otherwise, I’d be toast.

See ya tomorrow! Good luck tonight!

OF Draft Analysis

Posted by Dr. Jay on March 31, 2004

Weird title. Kind of like Katie Couric saying “Tomorrow on Today” or Matt Lauer saying “Yesterday on Today” or me saying in USAToday Today…

What a long, strange trip it’s been (and I’m just talking about me here, must be the NyQuil). And to top it off, it’s raining here today, so watch out for my crankies. Rain and withdrawal. Yuck, makes one start contemplating listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody” over and over and over…(“I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy. Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality”). American Idol is on tonight, so at least I’ve got something to look forward to (is it a Queen theme? No, it’s actually Motown), But, enough about me and my pointless ramblings, let’s look at how Pinetar did with their first basemen. There’s good news (like I didn’t rank Shack in the 9 spot), and bad news (like the magic of picking last has worn off for CJ), but enough of the promo, let’s get to the results, shall we?

First, an explanation…

I ranked you each on cash remaining again, but I doubled the weight for the talent drafted. I figure draft positioning is still important, but after yesterday’s fiasco of ranking you too much based on positioning, I thought I’d even things out and go heavily on the other side today.

Here we go, in reverse order…

10. Mad Hatters. Salary rank: 9, 1B rank 10 (x2)

Duff gets Overbay and Ventura. At least both are slated to start, at least for now. I think Overbay could have a solid year, and picking in the 9th position I don’t think you could have done much better, though perhaps stealing Wilson from Statman and waiting for LaRoche as a FA (although risky) may have been a gutsy move with a lot of upside. Still, LaRoche is still there for anybody to claim, including Duff. Anyway, I digress. Overbay should produce some okay numbers, maybe around a .775 OPS. You need some help. Ventura will also be “okay” just not stellar. Combined you’ve got two 1B who will play a lot (Overbay more than Ventura), but I think a FA is in your future.

9. Steamers. Salary rank: 10, 1B rank 9 (x2)

Well, the luck had to end. And when you’re picking only two players instead of six, the dregs are much less appetizing. The quality here is just a little more than the Hatters. With Nevin, CJ gets a guy who is a proven run producer but the nagging questions always concern injuries with him. If he’s healthy, what a snag for 1460K, if he’s not…Well that’s why I’ve given you the #9 ranking. Galarraga. Well, if he hooks up with someone, he’ll be a decent backup. I’m not sure that’s a likely possibility.

8. Road Humps. Salary rank: 7, 1B rank 8 (x2)

Fambo gets Casey and Franco. I love Franco as a backup here. Especially for his starts against left handed pitching. Great catch in the second round. Casey as a front liner though…Nevin, Overbay, and even Simon were still available and they may have been better choices in the long run. Something about Casey has just never sat right with me. He seems like he should be so much better, but he’s only averaged .765 OPS over the last three years, and you’d hope that you could get more production from your starting first baseman. Fambo and Duff will be battling over LaRoche.

7. Predators. Salary rank: 6, 1B rank: 7 (x2)

Finally, Shack gets off the Dr. Jay schnied (sp?). At his position, he got the best he could (unless he wanted to get Thome, but instead appears to have chosen to save money here.) Can’t say I blame him for going low on $$$, but it didn’t change his draft position at all (not that saving money in itself isn’t useful for FA picks later on). Johnson will really have a good year. Being out of the limelight in NY will help him immensely. So will playing 22 games in Hiram Bithorn. I think you can expect an .850 OPS from Johnson. Snow is a very serviceable backup, but the injury bug raises its head again with him (I hate it when bugs raise their heads, it creeps me out). But, with Johnson playing most of the Expos games, it doesn't matter who Shack has as a backup.

6. Bartenders. Salary rank: 8, 1B rank: 6 (x2)

Thome from the 8 position. Nice. His finger’s okay. (His index finger I mean. Watch out for that middle one he’s wagging at Pinetar for letting him drop to the 8th slot). Yeah, he starts slow, and the injury may make that an even slower than normal spot, but I think Thome is the consensus number 3 1B in the NL. To get him at 8th is a coup! I did down grade the position ranking somewhat because of the injury and the slow start, and because of Baerga. I don’t think he’ll play much this year, and his production should recede a little this season, anyway. Still a nice versatile backup.

5. Scalawags. Salary rank: 5, 1B rank: 5 (x2)

Elmore gets himself Lee and Cordero. Lee will have a great year in Chicago, and hit at a .900+ OPS clip. He’s just as steady as she goes, and underrated because his name isn’t as big as Helton or Pujols or Thome (it doesn't have as many letters in it as those names do, either. Bummer). Great pick in the five hole. As for Cordero, Choi figures to get most of the playing time in Miami, but if he slumps like last year, Cordero could step in. At any rate, he’ll provide some decent pinch-hit appearances. Maybe Florida will wear their special “wife-beater” sleeveless T’s under their uniforms on nights Wil gets to start. That would be a nice gesture.

4. Tsunami. Salary rank: 4, 1B rank: 3 (x2)

Mikey nabs Sexson and Phillips here. Richie will do well in AZ. Richie would do well anywhere, but he’s had a great history of performance at the B.O.B. (.378 avg, 6 HR in 12 career games – thank you cbs.sportsline). Now 12 games is a paltry sample, but in this case I really think it’s a sign of things to come. 45 HR are more than likely. Phillips is an outstanding backup. He’ll play a little first, a little catcher, and boom, you’ve got yourself maybe the best utilityman in this round of the draft. Nicely done. Just, somebody please tell Jason that “Leave it to Beaver” is no longer in first run production. Nobody wears glasses like that anymore, not even Sabo.

3. Panthers. Salary rank: 1, 1B rank: 4 (x2)

No, that’s not a typo. I like LC’s pick here. Yes, she could have had Thome, but the money she saved moved her into first to snag her choice of 2B tonight (Kent, perhaps, in keeping with the Astros theme?). Simon is a guy who will start against righties, too, so she’ll get additional 1B appearances with him. Yeah, Bagwell’s an injury risk, and perhaps in retrospect getting Lee at the same price may have been more conservative. But, Bags plays in a hitter friendly environ, and he’s her hometown boy. Like this pick. Plus, my best friend in high school was named Bagwell (unfortunately that was his first name. Why do parents do crap like that? Did you know that the creator of Lear Jets named his daughter Chrystal Chanda? Chrystal Chanda Lear. Ouch.)

2. Boyz Bluz. Salary rank: 2, 1B rank: 2 (x2)

I should just give a tie to Stat and Z. Look at the numbers for Helton and Pujols. They are virtually identical. Helton’s may be a little higher, on average, but Pujols is coming into his prime. He’s due for an even more productive year this year than last year. I flipped a coin, and Z lost. Pujols gets ranked at #2. And Choi is his backup, but who cares? Two words: Poo Holes! (Wait, I think that came out wrong. Would the FCC allow something like that on the air? I think not.) And, Z is still second for second. I like it! That’s almost as good as a tit for a tat, or a yin for your yang (as long as you don’t yen for my yang, I think we’re okay)

1. Cobras. Salary rank 3, 1B rank: 1 (x2)

This could easily have been Z’s spot from my perspective, and as I write this, I’m still perplexed why I didn’t just give ya’ll both first place rankings. But, I continue typing anyway without making any changes, so I guess it’s just going to stay this way. Can’t argue with Helton. Actually, I didn’t really flip a coin, I gave the nod to Stat because he got nearly identical production for 400K less, and that savings virtually netted him Wilson, a lefty killer who’ll play all over the park. Excellent first base round, and definitely in line for a top notch second sacker.

Which means, we’re done with the first sackers, so until tomorrow. Hasta…

The Further Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM  FIRST BASE

Posted on March 31, 2004

The Totals Going Into Round 3

Steamers.......86

MadHatters....79

Scalawags:....72

Road Humps:..71

Bartenders:....68

Cobras:.........68

Tsunami:.......62

Predators:.....61

BoyZ Bluz:.....54

Panthers.......45

[NOTE TO SELF: Yesterday you wrote that Mr. Z "curiously chose Junior - 'cause he's going down ... ". Junior went down yesterday. Thank The Space Chums on Pinetar's behalf]

Boyz Bluz:Mr. Z choses King Albert for 100k less than the best player in MLB ("BPIMLB")(Arod struck out 2x this morning so for the time being Albert is the BPIMLB) Anyone watch the game AT 4 A.M. with Psychic Slim? The Space Chums, of course, multi-tasked and watched it from the Planet Xenon where they were quelling a violent fashion rebellion by the indigenous DeGenerian sect. 11 Points for the BPIMLB. And, ...Z got Big Choi --- ECA!!! as a good backup, but a much less versatile one than the Cobras got, since Albert never doesn't play, and apparently is always gonna play 1st. Big Choi's value, then, --- a normal 6-7 Point man (on the come and because of Psychic Slim's inbred bias) --- must go down for this team. Let's call it 3 points. Total Team Points for First: 14

Cobras: Stat gets Todd (10 Points) for 500k less than King Albert would cost and, for about the same extra money, should be happy with Craig Wilson as an appearance heavy backup (for Stat, not the Pirates) at 1st, in the OF, maybe even at catcher 7 points for all of his maneuverability and good OBP.) 17 Points for all of this.

Tsunami: Richie "Escape from Milwaukee", Sexson (9 pts) Definite upside value in the AZ. heat. Should best his 45 homers from last year. Jason Phillips (.308 BA vs. LHP, .294 BA vs. RHP, .373 OBP, .442 Slg.) won't be needed at first since Richie never doesn't play. Unlike the versatility given the Cobras, the only value to having Phillips is off the bench ... which is nice to have, but much less points for this. Let's be kind and say 3 pts. Total of 12 pts.

The Panthers: Drafting 4th, LC predictably gets her Bags, about whom The Chums are issuing a cautionary physical warning concerning his shoulder (Ye who scoff, See, Junior, supra), but, not to worry, LC, Randall Simon's the backup. Let's call this a combo of 11 Pts, for all of the previously stated reasons.

Scalawags: Cubbie Derrick Lee and Marlin Will Cordero. Actually a better combo because Cordero sometimes gets OF time. 12 Pts.

Predators: Nick Johnson and J.T. Snow. Ho hum. 8 Pts.

Bartenders: Thome and Baerga. 12 Pts. for the power of Big Jim and Mr. Baerga's new found career and versatility.

Road Humps: Sean Casey and Julio Franco. 7 Pts. Psychic Slim is getting too sensitive about all the "old" jokes, so he won't make any.

MadHatters: Overbay and Ventura. Young and Old. Some worries here --- but should be fun to watch and see if Lyle can do it. Space Chum Sammy Davis Jr. channels, "Yes, he can!" 7 Pts. for this less-than-versatile Munster (strange) combo.

Steamers: Nevin and Galarraga. The Space Chums herein announce to the world: Phil Nevin is not the player you think he is, and not only because he's got his own ward named after him at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital. Speaking of which, hasn't Galarraga had a great career? It's over. 5 Pts.

Brand New Totals After Rd. 3

Steamers.......91

MadHatters....86

Cobras:.........85

Scalawags:....84

Bartenders:....80

Road Humps:..78

Tsunami:.......74

Predators:.....69

BoyZ Bluz:.....68

Panthers.......56

Good luck tonight!

Psychic Slim & The Space Chums

The Further Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM OUTFIELDERS

Posted March 28, 2004

The Totals Going Into Round 2

MadHatters....49

Steamers.......42

Scalawags:....35

Tsunami:.......31

Bartenders:....29

Road Humps:..28

Cobras:.........28

Predators:.....28

BoyZ Bluz:.....23

Panthers.......18

Cobras: Drafting first, Stat got Abreu (9), LuGon (8), Finley (6), Byrd (7), Tucker (6), and Mackowiak (4). A fine draft filled with power if Luis doesn't go down, speed with some pop in Byrd/Tucker, and everyone's favorite, 'ol reliable Finley. Mackowiack isn't slated as a starter by the Pirates, but should be. He's clutch off the bench as well. Appearances galore here. And...hey...he's gonna get either Albert or Helton in the #2 drafting spot for 1b. Watch out, world! Da Cobras are here! 40 Points

Boyz Bluz: Drafting 2d, Mr. Z curiously chose Junior (3 points - 'cause he's going down or gonna be traded - 10 scouts were looking at him his last game - Cinn. just hopes he doesn't go down while they watch); future (but not yet) power stud Cabrera (7); Andruw (9); Biggio (7); Grieve (5); and Eli Marrero (3). Biggio's having a killer spring. Space Chums love him but know he won't carry it through all year long. But he'll do "all right." Space Chum Jerry Garcia posits that Z needs "... one more killer outfielder-dude." We disagree. As usual, Jerry hasn't looked ahead. Z's getting Albert. That should help. 31 points

Tsunami: Mondesi (5 - we always think he should be more. The Space Chums chuckle about this and ask us when are we gonna get it -- he's just not a 7-10 player); Chipper (9); J.D. Drew (8 ! -- The Space Chums tell me it's his time, finally. It took longer, I'm told by a spirit with a beer calling himself, "Harry C." because " ... he hates St. Louis like anyone in his right mind would!"); Tike (5); Hammonds (3 --- woulda, shoulda, but isn't); Clark (1). 31 Points

Bartenders: Sammy (10); Payton (a discounted 6 ... Space Chums advise they are really worried about his injury ... and that Roscoe should be as well); Everett (8 - he's gonna thrive in Expoland); Moises (6 - see Payton. Last year was an aberration, no injuries. This year he's 38 going on 39. He's due); Sanders (Chums are happy Reggie will do well this year. 7 Points); Brian Buchanan (2 - had a nice spring...will spell Long who is fated to take Payton's Place. Togther they're really just one player for Roscoe). 39 Points

Predators: Barry (10 out of respect - but Chums are giving a clear warning about injuries and indictments); Wilkerson (7, nice apps); Larry Walker (er...speaking of apps --- 5 ... and that's on the come); Count Floyd (8); Space Chum future fav Wily Mo Pena (Junior gone or not? Freel or Wily? Wily! 3 points for a nice maybe); Branyan (0 help). 33 Points ... could be better if Larry ever plays.

The Panthers: LC gets her Lance (9), and Space Chum Fav. Future Star Jason Michaels ... who can't get in the lineup. (3); Karim from NY (6); Juan "The Thief" Rivera (6); Raul Gonzalez (0); and Dustin Mohr, an interesting pick (3). 27 Points

Scalawags: Elmore rides Hidalgo (9 - gonna have a great year and help lead Astros to World Series Championship); Former ChiSox Mike Cameron (8); Juan Encarcion (7, as usual ...he's just not the 9 we think he is); Marquis Grissom (7 --- Space Chum fav.); Terrence Long (4 -- playing for Payton - still sucks, whether he's in Northern or So. Calif.); Hollywood Cabrera (2) - lost a lot of value by Shawn not playing 1st. 37 solid Pts. Apps. galore. OF is covered for the year.

Road Humps:Brian Giles (9); Preston Wilson (10);Scotty P. from Milwaukee, Wi (pronounced "Wee") --- (7-8, make it a 7 cause of the two immed. preceding players); Danny Bautista -- Az. still waiting for him to gel like he was starting to do two years ago before he went out for the year. Chums say he won't...but he'll provide apps. (6); Davey Roberts (6 -- until LA trades Odalis for Mags or some other slugger...then he's out); Ryan Freel (5 points...'cause (1) he's playing 3rd for Larson until the latter returns and (2) Junior's replacement (maybe --- see Wily Mo') when the latter falls into a drainage ditch sometime in late April. 43 Points

Steamers: Kearns (great pop, no great OBP - the future Dave Kingman (6)); Corey Patterson (7); Juan Pierre (8); Burnitz (8); Jenkins (8); Klesko (7). Damn fine outfield. All those 7's and 8's could easily have been 8's and 9's. 6 starting outfielders of fine merit! Just Great, CJ! 44 Points

MadHatters: Dunn (8 - it's time); Shawn (6, this guy's falling in some kind of psychic black hole, get him outta LA --- HELP!!!!); Space Chum extra-special favorite Jim Edmonds (9 -- he'll play through the pain); Burrell (5 --- a bust); Nady (in Triple A - 0 Pts) Kerry Robinson (very interesting player .... if he makes the team and if he plays at all ... 2 points for all of that): 30 Points. Needs OF help. Trade some SPg.

Brand New Totals After Rd. 2

Steamers.......86

MadHatters....79

Scalawags:....72

Road Humps:..71

Bartenders:....68

Cobras:.........68

Tsunami:.......62

Predators:.....61

BoyZ Bluz:.....54

Panthers.......45

Good luck tonight!

Psychic Slim & The Space Chums

Dr. Jay's OF Draft Analyis

March 28. 2004

Well, here we go again. Miracle of miracles, I actually DID remember my name this morning when I awoke. So, in honor of that achievement, I have decided to continue the ranking theme I made up on the spur of the moment yesterday as I sat down to analyze your SP drafts.

To jog your memories, it went like this:

1. I gave each manager a ranking based on order of finish, so Statman got a "1", Z got a "2" and so on. Part of this draft is strategy (some may say a major part), so I've got to give credit for finishing in the order that you did.

2. I then ranked each staff, independent of how much you spent. I simply looked at each group of six pitchers and ranked each manager for quality of staff. Obviously the other part of the game is the actual production you get from your players, so the quality of the staff matters. You might be able to land Bonds tonight, but if your pitching stinks, it may not do you any good (yes I know various opinions abound on this topic, and you know what they say about opinions - I've certainly got one, too)

3. Today, I added a new wrinkle. I also ranked you all on change of draft position from yesterday to today. It's a whim, and in some cases y'all are going to yell at me, but those are the breaks. This ranking makes the strategy element a little more weighted in the final tally which may or may not be the fairest thing to do, but as the analyzer, I guess it's my prerogative...

4. Finally, I then averaged together the rankings and sorted you all by that number, lower numbers were better rankings.

Once again, I'll present the findings in reverse order:

10. Bartenders. Salary rank: 7, OF rank: 5, Draft change rank: 10

And, let the yelling begin. To tell the truth, I had a hard time ranking the OF for most of you. Len's team could have been anywhere from 3 to 6 in my subjective mind, just luck of the draw that the OF ranked 5th on talent. But anyway, he's got three good to great every day guys in Sosa, Payton, and Everett. I think Carl is a sleeper. Again, I've seen a lot of crap about him in other analysis, but he's better than you think. I worry about Sosa this year for some reason, and Payton will not be as productive in SD. Alou and Sanders as fourth and fifth spots are great. Sanders may wind up stating quite a bit in place of Payton, and Buchanan is a great 6th pick and will be an excellent starter against lefties, assuming he gets the nod enough IRL. And he'll certainly be a good pinch hitter off the bench.

Now, that I've written that last paragraph, I like Len's OF more than I originally did. But, I'll press on anyway.

9. Predators. Salary rank: 6, OF rank: 9, draft change rank 7 (tie)

Shack will kill me. Sorry Shack. Again, anyway I cut it, this is what I came up with. I know you've got a plan, and I'm sure it's a good one. I have no doubt you'll be in the upper echelon when all is done, but I gotta do this based on what I see in front of me. Had to get Bonds in the five hole. Not sure you expected that, and I wonder if having that happen wrecked some of your strategy. Getting Wilkerson was a good second pick, and a good price at 1350. Walker is a big red flag. He could be great, if he's healthy. But that's an awfully big IF. Floyd in the 4th spot is great, but he's also an injury concern. Branyan's a throwaway. He's in the Darryl Ward category of all hype, no substance. Pena may prove to be a bit of a sleeper too, if he can get enough MLB time. It's just the collection of the six guys here with the question marks had me downgrade to ninth best outfield, resulting in the 9 place ranking again.

8. Humps. Salary rank: 8, OF rank: 6, draft change rank: 8

Giles and Wilson. Awesome combo. If Preston can get/stay healthy, this may be the best 1-2 OF punch in the league. Wilson's injury is a bit of a concern, but not as much as Walker's, so better Preston than Larry. Can Podsednik be for real? I'm sure Fambo hopes so. Was his rookie year a fluke? Fambo hopes not. I think he's the real deal. Good starting 3. Bautista will be good as a spot guy, but Freel and Roberts don't do much for you. You'd be better off cutting that bait and trawling for better tuna in the FA pool.

7. Steamers. Salary rank 10, OF rank: 1, draft change rank: 7 (tie)

Joe's OF is by far the best, but obviously he had to spend to get it. He's now down to 20000K (give or take a few hundred), so he's spent almost half his payroll on 12 roster spots. Hope the OF pays off in Offense, because things don't look good for moving up (2000K out of 9th position, 4500K out of 8th). Joe will be drafting from the bottom most of the time remaining. That might not be so bad, though, as the occasional big fish might sift through to the bottom. As far as the OF, if you can get Ryan Klesko as your 6th OFer, you're doing pretty well. Jenkins as the fifth is also remarkable. In fact, I like Klesko and Jenkins better than your first two picks of Kearns and Patterson. Kearns has potential, but isn't potential one of those dirty words George Carlin said we couldn't say on TV? Patterson showed flashes last year before getting hurt. If he can bounce back, he's golden. Burnitz will get you homers, and a lot of errors. Overall, there is some good production here, and they'll help balance out Simon, Marlon, and Khalil in your infield.

6. Panthers. Salary rank: 4, OF rank: 10, draft change rank: 1 (tie)

Yep, LC moved up a couple of notches based on her maneuvering into the 4th position for 1B, an enviable position, to say the least. However, the OF she had to get to do this is not so enviable. Sorry LC. Berkman's great. Perhaps a bit overpriced, but still good for production. The rest...Well, I don't know how much they're all going to play. Of the other five guys, the only sure to see significant playing time is Rivera. Garcia will platoon, and maybe one of these days, people will realize that Michaels can actually hit. It might take a Burrell failure to get him in the everyday lineup, but Michaels will be great in spot starts and off your bench. Keep him (I've always liked him for some reason). Overall, there's a little, but not much, to work with here. But, you're sure to get a mighty fine first baseman in this deal.

5. Hatters. Salary rank: 9, OF rank: 2, draft change rank: 3

That ranking for draft change is sillier than I thought, as Duff moves from 10th to 9th, but ranks 3rd. Oh well, this will probably be the last time you see it. The OF is superb, though, and a relative bargain for less than 8000K total. Dunn is due to bounce back. He won't hit for average, but his OPS is quite impressive. Green is also due. Others might look at an OF of Dunn, Green, and Edmonds and say there are too many question marks. Well, there are injury and performance questions here, but my gut says this is a great OF. Then, you've got Burrell, another question mark, yes, but another who should bounce back this year. In fact, Duff's got the potential all comeback team here. I like it. I don't like Nady or Robinson, though, and that's what cost you the number one ranking for OF. Again, this is a personal grudge against Nady as I spent a lot for him as a FA last year and he was a disappointment. Maybe he'll get it together and get back up to the majors, but I just have a bitter taste in my mouth. The top four guys are great. Nice draft.

4. Scalawags. Salary rank: 5, OF rank: 8, draft change rank: 1 (tie)

Elmore was able to move up two spots into 5th for tonight's 1B draft. Still should nab a good corner infielder at that rank. The OF is a little thin. I saw that Slim really liked this OF, and I think it's solid, it's just not much on the "wow" factor (I could be a guess judge on American Idol, I think). Hidalgo is another one that I don't trust. He's up and down, and based on last year, he's due for a down this year. Cameron's okay, but a bit of a reach for your second pick. Encarnacion could work at Hooters with teh amount of teasing he does. He always seems to be on the brink, but can't quite make it over the edge. Grissom is a terrific pick at number 4. Like with Slim, he's always been a favorite of mine. And he kills lefties. He'll be great on your bench and starting against the southpaws. Long and Cabrera. Eh. Not a really bad OF, just not a really good OF either. Solid, I guess, which is far from terrible.

3. Boyz Bluz. Salary rank: 1. OF rank: 9. Draft Change rank: 3.

Z spent a little over 3mil. If I was giving more credit for bang for your buck, his ranking would be higher. That's as low a price spent on the OF as I can remember seeing. The guys he got are serviceable to better than average. Andruw is chronically "due". I just don't think he'll ever fully arrive. Man, that kid''s got potential...Griffey... I don't know if I need to say anything else. Good luck with him Z. High risk/high reward, though at only 840K, the risk is slightly reduced. Cabrera is everybody's phenom. I don't buy it. Again, no real reason other than gut. I think he's a flash. (famous last words, there, I'm sure, but I'm sticking my neck out with it anyway). Biggio has also never been a favorite of mine. His spring numbers will not last much longer. Grieve has been a major disappointment, but as your fifth pick, I can't find any blame. Good pick up there. Marrero is also good, as he'll give you starts in the OF, C, and 1B. Not really productive starts, but it's nice to have a fill-in with that kind of versatility to spare the big guys from time to time.

2. Tsunami. Salary rank: 3, OF rank: 4, Draft change rank: 5.

Mikey stayed in the top three for 1B. Excellent work. He spent less than 6 mil for a really good OF. Mondesi doesn't get as much credit as he should. Surprised to see him picked in the first round, but I'm guessing Mikey was trying to save $$. Chipper in the second round is a steal. Some say he's on the decline, but I disagree. I think with Chipper being the focal point of the Braves' offense this year, he's going to respond with monster numbers. Drew is also due. He will, here me now, WILL stay healthy this year, and Mikey's going to look like a genius having picked him up in the 3rd round.Redman, Hammonds and Clark could make for a nice rotation as a fourth OF, but they will more likely wind up swimming in the pool fairly soon.

And, now, Pinetar's number one team, to this point in the draft (another drum roll, please).....

1. Cobras. Salary rank: 2, OF rank: 3, draft change rank: 7

Again the draft change rank is weird. Stat moves from 1st to 2nd and gets a 7th place ranking. Go figure. He'll get either Pujols or Helton, and I think he's got the 3rd best OF. He's in a commanding position folks. Now, I don't think he's won the league here in the draft, like he did last year in Pegasus, but he's leading the charge. Abreu, Gonzalez and Finley is probably as good as you can get and spend less that 6mil. Well done. You have to worry about Gonzo's elbow, but he doesn't need it to hit as much as he does to throw. It's almost too bad the D'backs have Sexson, or they could hide his elbow at first. Still, if he needs surgery during the year, this pick could turn out to be a bust. Byrd may finally be ready to put together a fine full season. Needs to keep himself healthy. Tucker will be a nice fill-in as needed, and Slim's right about Mackowiak. He's underrated, and I wish he'd get more PT. Things look really good for the Cobras here after two rounds.

Okay, well that's it for another day. Now, if I can just find time to go over my own draft lists. See ya tomorrow.

The Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM

March 28, 2004

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Starting Pitchers, Part 3

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Recap

Roscoe's New Haven Bartenders: 29 Points

Fambo's West Side Road Humps:28 Points

Z's BoyZ Bluz: 23 Points

Statman's Cobra's: 28 Points

Toronto Tsunami: 31 Points

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 Shack's Predators: Drafting 5th for OF

Josh Beckett: 9 Points. You don't have to ask why. You already know.

Kris Benson: If he stays on the Pirates, and if he stays in the NL, then he might be okay. Hasn't been the last 3 years, but the laws of probability say it's possible. Needless to say, the Space Chums don't need no probability. 5-6 points has become 4 Points because of all of the above....unless proven otherwise. (The Chums sometime like to hedge their bets).

Brett Myers: Are you, like me, waiting for Myers "breakout year"? Here it is! Courtesy of Psychic Slim's Space Chums. We'll give him 7 to start with a big upside % move expected.

Oliver Perez: Are you, like me, waiting for Oliver Perez to do something? Don't hold your collective breaths. It ain't gonna happen. A normal 3 points for just pitching innings should have a deduction for the heartache he's sure to cause. But I won't 'cause it's Shack and Psychic Slim can be bought by personal allegiances which cloud his foresight.

Aaron Heilman: 0 Points. You know why.

Josh Fogg : Extra point for a White Sox Alert. Flashes of goodness, followed by utter trash and lack of mental focus. Why'd the Sox unload this guy, he's right up their alley? N/t/l (nevertheless), go figure...the Space Chums acutally like him. They give him 5 points. I assume that includes the White Sox point. It better 'cause he aint getting any more from me.

Intangibles: 1 great SP, 1 poetntially great SP (especially in a keeper league, which this ain't); 1 Space Chum dude, "Crip" Benson and Oliver the Terrible and Aaron the Triple AAA/bullpen phenom. Need some more, 'ol friend...needs some more.

Total Points after Round 1: 28

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Elmore's Scalawags: drafting 7th

Matty Morris: Psychic Slim, Ms. Slimella, and brother-in-law the Right Hon. Judge Phineas T. Slimstem saw Matty pitch last week in person ( as opposed to "in a psychic vision" which happens to Psychic Slim frequently after 8 p.m. at McGillicutty's Bowl and Tap, Berwyn, Illinois.) He was great! Forget the Space Chums. Chalk him up as a 9, with upside potential!

Randy Johnson: Sorry? Never heard of him. 10 Points until proven o/w (otherwise).

Steve Trachsel: Alert! Ex-Cub Factor!!!! Actually, it's balanced off by the Present-Met factor, so no harm- no foul. Trax actually did quite well last year. Space Chums expect the same this year. See him as a future Jamie Moyer Ex-Cub-Like-Guy (they sometimes speak to me in sound clips). 8 Points.

Jeff Suppan: Los Chumos do not and have never like Mr. Suppan. The fact that he's currently pitching for a certain team made up of REDS doesn't help things any. After all, Dave Duncan can't do wonders with everyone, can he? 5 points.

Juan Cruz: hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ex-Cub Alert!!!!! Better Atlanta than Chicago. 0 Points, but only 'cause we don't give negative ones.

Shawn Estes: Ex-Cub Alert!!!! Shawn's actually pitching Opening Day for the Rockies, who claim he had a great Spring. The Space Chums are holding their sides in riotous laughter and rauckus guffaws. 3 Points.

Total Points: 35 Points, even with Cruz, Estes and Suppan. But...3 point subtraction for an incomplete staff. You can't live on RJ/Morris and Trax alone.Still 32 ain't a bad start.

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Crazy Joe's Steamers: Drafting 9th for the OFs:

Maddux: ECA!!! Ex-Cub Alert balanced off by a million years with the Winners from Atlanta. Psychic Slim admits a bias here. ... and feels ... nothing. No signals. Consulting the Space Chums ... moment ... coming to me..... 7 points (downside to 6 if he only lasts 5 innings an outing.)

Hideki Nomo: Dinner time...hence 7 Points without a discussion of why I wanted to give him 8 or 9 but couldn't because of the input of Rear Admiral Halsey from the other side.

Carlos the Z: Not an ex but present Cub. 7 Points. Gonna be fine and dandy.

Jason Schmidt: Is he healthy? Will he last the season? Space Chums say no and therefore no. Deductions for Jason's lack of health and that other guy coming up, Mark what's his name. But not too many. 7 Points, from a 9-10.

Al Leiter: Still pitching while rehearsing for that ESPN job. The Space Chums admonish me that I must not let my desire to let Al take Joe Morgan's place on Planet ESPN cloud my thinking. It won't. 7 Points 'cause Al still gets the job done.

Kirk Rueter: Space Chums love this guy. 7 Points.

Total: 42..should be more for trade possibilities a staff this size offers.

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LC's Panthers: Drafting OFs 6th.

Mark What's his name: If this were only a keeper league. 7 Points ... and that's on the come;

Dontrelle Willis: ECF!!! But he wasn't for long and never made Wrigley so he's not badly infected. Great choice. 8 Points;

Wilson Alvarez: He's unhealthy, fat, old an Ex-ChiSox ... not to mention he ain't starting. 0 Points;

Jeff Weaver: The most hated of all SP by the Space Chums will break LA's heart (if it has one) like it did every other place he ever pitched. Nellie Fox is very happy he didn't go to his beloved ChiSox. 3 Points;

Darren Dreifort: See Wilson Alvarez. 0 Points;

Rick Reed : See Darren Dreifort. 0 Points.

Total Points : 18 Points. Sorry LC.

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MadHatters: drafting last...let's see if it was worth it ---

Kerry Wood: 9 Points;

David Wells: 7 Points;

Andy Pettitte: 9 Points:

Randy Wolf: 8 Points:

Wade Miller: 9 Points;

John Thomson: 7 Points

Total Points: 49 Points. Damn good. Trade for some OF after you get Timo Perez.

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The Happy Totals After Round 1

MadHatters....49

Steamers......42

Scalawags:....35

Tsunami:......31

Bartenders:...29

Road Humps:...28

Cobras:.......28

Predators:....28

BoyZ Bluz:....23

Panthers......18

Good Night in Tonight's Draft!

Psychic Slim & The Space Chums

Dr Jay's SP Draft Analysis

March 28, 2004

Okay people, time for the starting pitching analysis a la Dr. Jay, 2004. Please remember, grading is subjective, I do accept bribes, and if Syracuse was still in the NCAA’s, I’d have given everybody extra points. Since SU is out, you all received negative points. But since you were each docked the same amount, I guess it doesn’t really matter to the relative standings, so forget I said anything.

Here’s what I’ve done. (and don’t expect the same system for each round, I’ll be hard pressed to even remember my own name, much less a system of analysis, this time tomorrow):

1. I gave each manager a ranking based on order of finish, so Statman got a “1”, Z got a “2” and so on. Part of this draft is strategy (some may say a major part), so I’ve got to give credit for finishing in the order that you did.

2. I then ranked each staff, independent of how much you spent. I simply looked at each group of six pitchers and ranked each manager for quality of staff. Obviously the other part of the game is the actual production you get from your players, so the quality of the staff matters (I heard J Lo say that once. I guess that's why Ben's no longer her man). You might be able to land Bonds tonight, but if your pitching stinks, it may not do you any good (yes I know various opinions abound on this topic, and you know what they say about opinions – I’ve certainly got one, too)

3. Third, I then averaged together the rankings and sorted you all by that number, lower numbers were better rankings.

Now, I’ll comment on the teams, in reverse order, while listing the rankings for each category, and your overall rankings. In the case of a tie, I went with gut feeling.

Number 10: Road Humps. Order rank: 8, staff rank: 8

Not a bad collection of starters at the top with Oswalt and Webb. As was the case last season, you might need to be a little wary of Oswalt’s groin (just don’t let his wife know), and Webb may be in line for a sophomore slump, but you can’t argue with his performance last season. The questions for the Humps start with Woody. He’s getting rather long in the tooth, and he is also subject to the injury bug. Still, with a third pick, not bad. Things start sliding more with Vargas. He ran out of gas near the end last year. While he might be ready to go the long haul, he’s still a bit of a question mark. Then, you’ve got Fossum and Stark. Fossum’s lingering injury is a big problem, and when (more like IF) he makes it back he’ll probably be in the bullpen. Stark pitches in Colorado and he’s struggling this spring. If he can’t even get decent results in Arizona, how’s he going to do in Coors? Fambo opened up the purse strings and nabbed some fine talent in Oswalt and Webb. After that, it’s a big question mark. Too many question marks to be picking 8th for OF.

Number 9: Predators. Order rank: 5, Staff rank: 10

Shack, this kills me buddy. I looked at this every which way I could, but I couldn’t move your staff off the last line. You’ve got an unquestioned stud in Beckett and he’ll win you many many games this year. But, then you’ve got a collection of 100K also-rans. Benson has fallen off the map after his promising rookie year. Oliver Perez may (stress MAY) finally bounce back now that he’s in Pittsburgh, Heilman and Fogg are both questionable as well. The one bright spot is Myers. He seems underrated to me, and you may have caught yourself quite a sleeper here. What’s interesting is that in Perez, Benson, and Fogg, you’ve got 3/5 of the Pirates rotation. I don’t think that’s a good thing. Luckily there are some pretty good Free Agents out there, and there are some names that went undrafted, so you could patch your holes pretty quickly. Another bright spot is picking 5th, which should nab you a top notch OF, or you could play lowball and go for Helton or Pujo.

Number 8: Panthers. Order rank: 6, Staff rank: 9

Another killer here, LC. LOVE the Prior pick. Yeah, everybody says he’s getting shut down. Blah, blah, blah. Obviously Pinetar didn’t think so, as he’s still priced pretty highly at 4320K. It might be that you didn’t count on his price tag being so much, which left you with little to fill out the remaining five spots. Willis is still a great second round pick. A lot of people are discounting him right now, thinking he can’t possibly do in 2004 what he did in 2003. I don’t know, I still think he’s got it and will turn out to be a great pick for you. As for the rest, you do have a decent bullpen guy in Alvarez who will give you the occasional start. Weaver may surprise, but his career has been on the decline (maybe getting out of NY will re-energize him). Driefort was finished years ago. And Reed may not even make the final spot in the Pirates rotation (psst: trade him to Shack so he can continue to build his Pittsburgh theme team!)

Number 7: Hatters. Order rank 10, staff rank: 1

Well when you spend over 10,000K, you BETTER have the best staff. And Duff has it. All six of his picks are quality starters. Obviously Wood is key. He’ll dominate again this year, and he’s a great staff anchor for the Hatters. Wolf and Pettitte are good lefties to have around. Though Pettitte may suffer playing in hitter-friendly Enron-Stewart-Tyco field (oops! I mean Minute Maid), he’s still going to be above average. Miller as a fifth pick?!? Are you kidding me? He will, and I mean WILL (mark my words) be the second best pitcher for your team this year. 1900K will seem like a BARGAIN for him when the year is over. Okay, okay, sorry to gush, it’s not like Wade and I are engaged or anything…David Wells is another good lefty, but you gotta worry about his health, and I’m a little surprised to see Duff go after him with a second pick with the high cap he had out there. Webb, Willis and Zambrano were still available and well within budget when this pick was made, and they may be a little more dependable. Still who can tell at this stage what exactly will happen? It’s why we play the games. Using a sixth pick to get Thomson was also good. He’s another potential sleeper. Again, six quality guys. Duff’s rotation is set (and right now is the best in Pinetar, except for…

Number 6: Steamers. Order Rank: 9, Staff rank: 1

Yep, I had Duff and Joe tied for the best staff. Again, though, spending that kind of dough, you better come out of the SP round with quality. Joe’s got it in spades. Maddux will shine in Chicago. Zambrano will also continue to shine, especially for the beginning of the season. Hopefully Dusty will let the kid rest some in the second half. Schmidt in the fourth round at 3290K is a steal. He’ll be fine in a few weeks and will dominate the rest of you when you face CJ. Leiter and Rueter are a little risky, but I give Joe credit for getting them both. Together, they’ll make one decent lefty starter. Nomo will also continue his recent success. So, Joe, congrats on this staff. Unfortunately, it did put you second to last for the OF, but se la vie!

Number 5: Scalawags. Order rank: 7, Staff rank: 6

Three decent starters here, one question mark, one reliever, and one guy who’ll go on the DL in mid April with the stiff neck that he’ll get from watching the balls sail over the Coors Field wall. I’ll start with him. I’ve got a personal grudge against Estes, Elmore, so don’t YOU take it personally. Too many times I drafted Sean and he always, ALWAYS, let me down. I’ve sworn never ever to take him in a draft again, especially now that he’s a Rocky. The rest of your guys are okay. Cruz will be a decent addition to your bullpen. Mazzone will take care of him. Suppan, I just don’t know about. He started well last year, then faded. Perhaps he’ll do the same and you can cut bait when he starts stinking it up. The other three in Morris, Johnson, and Trachsel may be the best top three going in Pinetar. Trachsel’s another underrated guy, and Johnson is an injury risk (but I think he’s back and here to stay), and Morris is just consistently good. Nice job with talent, but it does put you in the bottom half for OF tonight.

Number 4: Cobras. Order rank: 1, Staff rank: 7

I almost ranked Statman at number 11 just to spite him for kicking all our tails in Pegasus last season, but I thought better of it. Here begins a run of teams that went cheap, with Statman getting the least for the least. But, there IS potential with his six starters. Obviously, with K. Wells and Clemens, you’ve got two really good front line starters. Glavine, Wilson and Dessens…Well, you get what you pay for. I like Glavine, I really do. But I think part of his magic was being in Atlanta. He may very well bounce back, and you’ll find yourself with a steal, but I just don’t think so. I hope I’m wrong. The potential is Lima. Who’d have thought he’d have the spring he did? Obviously all of Pinetar thinks it’s a fluke, given his 100K salary. However, he’s another potential steal. But, there’s just too much “potential” in Stat’s rotation to rank it any more highly than I did. Hence, the Cobras get the 4th place finish for Starting Pitching.

Number 3: Tsunami. Order rank: 3, staff rank 5.

Mikey did well with going cheap. He’s got three quality guys at the top in Ohka, Odalis, and Hernandez. I’ve seen other analysis that has questioned how good Ohka and Perez are, but I’m with Mikey here. If you’re going to go cheap, these are guys who are safe and inexpensive. With those three to top the staff, he’s got a decent shot of having a high 3’s ERA, and if can get the offense to produce, he could easily be in contention all year long. Hermanson, Tomko, and Haynes are a bigger problem, but for 100k and picking how you did, I’m not sure you could have done much better. Each of these guys could actually turn in decent years. However, each could also have 5+ era’s. Time will tell, but sitting at number 3 assures Mikey that he can grab a stellar Ofer or rest on his laurels for the first base feast.

Number 2: Bartenders. Order rank: 4, staff rank: 3.

Yep, that’s right, Len went cheap and got the third best staff, behind only the guys who spend nearly 10000K and over 10000K. His rotation is filled with good “bang for the buck” in Jerome, Redding, and Seo. At those prices, you couldn’t go wrong. There may be a sophomore slump for both Seo and Jerome, but their production last year may have just hinted at things to come. Redding was fairly consistent last year, too, so these three guys are well-drafted nuggets. Oliver has been impressive this spring. He was actually pretty decent in Colorado, and moving down to Miami is sure to increase his value. Good snag in the fifth spot. Jennings is the opposite. He may be the best Colorado has, but that’s like telling a kid that squash is a really good vegetable. It doesn’t mean much. Overall, though, there’s enough talent here that should have you all worrying about Len already. Great, cheap staff, and picking in the upper division for OF.

And, drum roll please………, the award for best SP draft goes to….

Number 1: Bluz. Order rank: 2, Staff rank 4.

Z has got 4 potentially quality dudes in Eaton, Ramirez, Penny, and Hampton. In fact, I might have to give you an additional award for having the “most underrated staff”. All four of those guys have talent, and I think many have written them off. At a combined cost of 3300K, you did VERY well. Lidle is another “potential” kid. In my opinion it’s more on the “potentially bad” side, but again, who can really tell. Patterson may have a rebirth with Montreal, the team that originally drafted him, but most reports project him to have a high 4’s era. That’s not going to cut it in BBM. But still, you’ve got 4 solid members of a rotation here, and I’m sure you can easily dredge the FA market for one, possibly two, more. Getting the guys you did, and still drafting second for OF, you definitely win the first round.

So, that’s it folks. I’ll see you same place tomorrow (but I just can’t tell you the time). Later!

The Devinations of PSYCHIC SLIM

March 28, 2004

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Starting Pitchers, Part 2

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Recap

Roscoe's New Haven Bartenders: 29 Points

Fambo's West Side Road Humps:28 Points

Z's BoyZ Bluz: 23 Points

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 Statman's Cobra's: #1 going into the OF draft. With the #4 pick in the whole draft got ChiSox reject and Space Chum favorite Kip Wells, now the leading SP on the Pirates since Benson has become a question mark. Nice price (1920) for a SP who gets the starts, goes the innings and produces an ERA under 4.xx. Plus, a drafter can almost never go wrong choosing an ex-ChiSox SP. [As an aside, here are the two Chicago Baseball Club Rules to remember: If the Sox got rid of him, he must be ok. If you have an ex-Cub on your team, your doomed]. 7 nice Points for Kip.

Roger: The Space Chums have advised all who are interested that Houston will win not only their Division, but the World Series. Roger is pitching like a devil in Spring Training. 10 points.

T. Glavine, Senior: "Beware of injuries and ineffectiveness," says the recently passed Eva Gabor. Unfortunately, she was talking about Psychic Slim's sex life, but misery loves company so will pretend she meant it for Tom. 6 Points (which includes 1 point for respect).

Paul Wilson: Kyle Farnsworth's wrestling partner. A lot less than great. 4 Points.

Elmer: Not many folks name their lil babies "Elmer" anymore.His 5.xx ERA,his horrible Spring, his bad shape, and his current injuries all add up to 4 Points.

It's Lima Time: But not as a SP. 3 Points for RPg and spot starter value. Goes up when the Dodgers trade Odalis Perez for a slugger.

Intangibles I great, 2 good SP in Clemens, Wells and Glavine. 1 SP who pitches 5 innings per game and can't wrestle. 1 SP who is a mystery in Dessens. And 1 who isn't a SP at all ... yet. Serviceable. Staff. Great $$$ position.

Total Points after Rd. 1: 28 Points

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 Toronto Tsunami: drafting OFs 2nd.

Ohka: Fine choice. Great stats. Great Spring. Great future. Montreal, Breeder of Future SP Stars. 7 (almost 8) Points.

Odalis: See Ohka. There's a reason everyone wants this guy in a trade, 'ya know. He's real good. May not last in the NL. In fact, Space Chums would be surprised if he made it to Opening Day in LA. 7 (almost 8) Points.

Livan: Montreal. Old Man Livan. Did pretty well last year for someone who used to give up runs willy-nilly in SF. Another 7 Points.

Dustin Hermanson: No. No Points

Brett Tomko: Yes, but only by a bit. 5 Points.

Jimmy Haynes: Having a very good Spring, believe it or not. Show flashes of goodness, not greatness. 5 Points.

Intangibles: Assuming Odalis stays, 2 fine SP who are also fun to watch in Ohka and Odalis. Same really for Livan. 2 guys who'll produce innings and starts in Haynes and Tomko. One bust in Hermanson. Not too shabby, and drafting from the 3rd spot. Nice draft.

Total Points for Rd. 1: 31 Points

CASH-IN ENTERPRISES,

in affiliation with Leo Bloom Productions,

Is Very Pleased to Present

The Devinations of

PSYCHIC

SLIM

Starting Pitchers, Part 1

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Hi.

My name is Psychic Slim.

Long ago, as a baby, my explorer parents took me with them on one of their digs at what the Euro-Western World now calls, "Machu Pichu."

While there, my Incan nurse, Zazu, swaddled me in cloth fashioned from a mixture of Indian hemp, native plants, the sparkling waters of a small rivlet found near the Palace of the Kings, and llama dung.

Ever since, I have been imbued with what your Euro-Western World ("EWW") believes to be "psychic powers." In reality, I have none, other than the ability to communicate (and sometimes share a danish and a coffee with) beings from many different "locations" in the space-time continuum. My Incan brethern and sistern have come to take these things in stride and indeed have come to rely upon my ability to re-visit the past and fortell the future. (I missed "the country is going to be torn asunder for 50 years by revolution" part, but no one, other than Matt The Dragon, is 100% accurate). I hope you will learn you can rely upon my abilities, as well.

Not each of these written analysis will be as detailed as the first. Suffice it to say that each is done in the same manner, and a more detailed account is available to individual owners by sending $3,000.00 to: Psychic Slim, c/o The HappyDale Home for the Hopelessly Optimistic, Wrigley Field, Chicago, Illinois.

My credentials having been given, let us now begin:

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Roscoe's New Haven Bartenders:

J. Williams, $1580;Redding, $750;Seo, $560;D. Davis, $410;D. Oliver, $100; Jennings, $100. Drafting 4th For OF

Analysis:

Psychic Slim's Space Chums love this draft. No real money spent for 3 arms with tremendous upside potential, two medicore-but-inning-eating lefties, and one dud:

Jerome Williams: Last year, at age 21, fate and karmic injuries thrust Jerome Williams into the starting rotation of the powerful San Francisco Giants. He responded with 21 games starts, a 3.30 ERA (including a wonderful 2.64 home ERA), gave up less hits than innings pitched (116/131), and had almost twice the number of K's to BB (88/49). Not too shabby. My Space Chums, of course, acknowledge the fact that his 2d half of the season ERA zoomed up to 3.82, after his 2.64 first half ERA. However, they attribute this to the fatigue of a young arm in a pennant race. "It coulda been worse," they intone. "Hey coulda been managed by Dusty Baker and not taken out of a game until his arm fell off." True dat.

In any event, Jerome consistently throws a 95 mph fastball. The Astral Association of Dwight Gooden Karma caution that he will not have a long career unless he learns how to pitch the junk and not only throw the heat. But the Space Chums see no downside to this choice for this year. Though he is 3rd in the rotation after Schmidt and Rueter, he's first in their hearts. Great choice, fine price. 8 (maybe 9) points for him

Tim Redding: Lost in the hooplah about Oswalt's return, and The Second Coming of Clemens, Pettitte and Miller, the 'Stros fifth spot arm gave up only 179 hits in 176 IP last year, had an amazin' 116/65 k/bb ratio, started 32 games and had an ERA of 3.68. As Irving "The Hammer of Babylon" Petnick (560 B.C. - 526 B.C.)says (from the other side), "What's not to like?" True dat, Irv. Plus, this guy has no real pressure to excel with the 4 in front, and all the guidance in the world from them. Yet another reason why the Space Chums insist that the Houston Astros have the best starting rotation in MLB, even with their hitter-friendly ballpark. 7 Points here.

Seo: Another undiscovered gem who manages to fly beneath the radar screen of most drafters. Is it the Met thing or the Asian thing? Who knows? But you can't ignore 32 starts, a 110/46 k/bb ratio an almost even hit/ip ratio and a 3.82 ERA on a deservedly karmically crappy team. Very nice catch for Roscoe. 7 points for Seo.

Doug Davis: A lefty for The Brewers. Unlike most fantasy pundits, the Space Chums are not enamored with the Brewers destiny for 2004 and forsee no surprise elevation in the Central Division Standings. Why? For one reason, their SPg sucks (though they do "know" some good things are coming from Chris Capuano, one of their rookie Sp-ers). Davis has been around ... alot. He gets hit ... alot (BA vs. last year: .285). Think Texas Rangers. However, he eats up innings ... and he's had a fine spring. Go figure. The Astral Assosiations ascribes Davis 3 points for effort.

Darren Oliver: Another lefty who's been, and taken his fantasy owners, around the block. Think Texas Rangers. However, he's had a hell of a Spring for the Marlins. He's really pitched well. And, folks say he's lost weight, gotten an attitude and a new pitch. The Space Chums say that he's found a home in Southern Florida, see's the end of his career and is striving to excel on the NL's second best Starting Pitching staff. We say he gives Roscoe all this and a second LHP. Hence, 4 points.

Jason Jennings: It's not enough to say "Rockies" and have that be the end of it. Jennings is 17-6 lifetime at Coors. However, come and count with me. For the NL last year he was:

1st in OBP allowed;

2nd in walks/innings;

3rd in BA allowed and in k/bb ratio;

5th in Slugging % allowed;

6th in losses and highest ERA;

7th in hits allowed;

and

8 in highest ERA on the road.

No need to discuss more. He'll give Roscoe a spot to claim a FA with, if necessary. Because he offers no real value to the team, 0 points.

Intangibles: 5 starters, 2 lefties. The Boys from Beyond would like to see one more horse to help the team, preferably a lefty. Plenty of SP FA available this year, and Roscoe currently has the money to get them. No extra points, but nothing taken away.

Total Points through Round 1: 29

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Fambo's West Side Road Humps:

Oswalt, 3870; Webb, 2890, W.Wms, 1200, Vargas, 100, Fossum, 100, Stark, 100.

Analysis:

Oswalt: 9 points 'till we know he's ok. Then,10

Webb: Everybody's newbie phenom after Prior. And not sick. 140/180 h/ip ratio; close to a 1/1 k/ip ratio; 172/68 k/bb ratio, 2.84 ERA. 1st in the NL in lowest slugging % allowed. ...blah, blah, blah, it goes on. Space Chums have him penned in for quite a long time as a 9-10 pointer. They say make it 10. I must obey.

Woody: He's 37. Is his arm ok? It wasn't during the first 7/8 of Spring Training. Assessments from the Astral Association ("AAA") come courtesy of James Joyce: "Let the *&$(@#@ pitch, why don't you! He'll do fine if you just leave him alone for God's Sake!" We like him, too, Jimmy. Sleincha!. 7 points.

Vargas: One of the S.C's sleepers of the year. Nice, but not Webb-like stats last year. 6 points on the come.

Casey Fossum: Courtesy of Rotoworld.com: "Casey Fossum, who has yet to pitch this spring as he recovers from shoulder surgery, is likely going to start off on the DL." No points.

Denny Stark: 13.59 ERA in Arizona. One can only imagine what it will/would be in Coors. No points.

Intangibles: Great starting 2; Vargas will be fun to watch; Fear for Woody -- can he last the season? Other two have no value. With all the money spent, is in 8th place for the OF draft. Still needs SP..at least two. Where's a lefty? A very good-but-incomplete draft. Deduction of 3 points for all of this.Deduction 4 points for all of this.Deduction 3 points for all of this.

Total Points through Round 1: 28

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Z's BoyZ Bluz:

Adam Eaton, 1210: About the right price. Space Chums, I'm sorry to say, hate him and his inconsistency. Look it up. 5 points;

Horacio Ramirez, 500: An amazin' price for the guy who's gonna somneday anchor Atlanta's starting rotation. Space Chums love him. 6 points on the come.

Brad Penny, 1230: See Ramirez. #2 on the Marlin's, gonna have a #1 year. Book it. 8 points.

Mike Hampton, $320: Wow, nice price for a guy who's the SP equivalent to the Chance card in Monopoly. Which Mike we gonna get today? 5 points.

Cory Lidle: By way of Oakland, now The Red's #1 Starter. Wouldn't crack the rotation of a few good teams. Space Chums are tired of his hype. Produce or get off the planet. 4 Points.

John Patterson: Terrible Spring. Just traded to the Expos. Maybe he'll take that Expo Elixir of Life and gain in points. For now, nada, nil, zilch, zero Points.

Intangibles: Consistent with the youth of this staff, Jason Marquis would be a good addition. Needs another 1. Nice money position of 2.

Total Points through Round 1: 23

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More from Psychic Slim Anon. He has to go make a buck!

Humin’bird speaks on Pinetar 2004.

(posted 2/22/04 by Humin'bird)

Say goodbye to Skip, EZ and Guru. Say hello to Zabel, Elmore and Statman. The rent in Pinetar just went up!

Here’s what I think each manager must do to win the coveted Pinetar championship.

Shack: We’ll start with the Pinetar defending champion, Shack. Is there a better all around manager in all of BBM than Shack? Considering both AL and NL talent I doubt it. Shack is clearly the man to beat and comes back in 2004 as the reigning champion, a run away winner of Pinetar last year. Shack just needs to stay focused and do what he does. The biggest danger to Shack is if he lets himself get beat in the draft.

Statman: Another excellent champion. He absolutely pummeled an all star cast in Pegasus last year. I’ve played with Statman for a few years and if anybody can beat Shack, it’s this guy. Statman must draft well and put together the kind of offensive behemoth he’s known for. If he comes out of the draft smiling you all should be very worried.

Elmore: Elmore beat a very tough crew in Phoenix last year. He’s sneaky good. He held the power rankings title for most of the year last year until the Phoenix leagues stats faded a bit. No fault of Elmore’s though. He’s capable of winning this thing. He puts an excellent combination of pitching and hitting out on the field. Look for good balance from the Haymakers and no weaknesses. If he can get his hands on a few guys who have big years he can take this thing. My gut tells me he’s a better bet to challenge for 2nd or 3rd place though, unless everything falls just right.

Zabel: Had a great year in Phoenix last year and does possess, I believe, the ability to win Pinetar. He’s not sneaky like Elmore but he puts a solid team on the field every game. Z has to draft his pitching well. He’s one of those managers who relies on pitching more so look for more low scoring, close games when the BluZ BluZ are involved. If he gets his hands on some SP’s who put up big numbers he’ll be tough to beat. Should be a good bet to make the playoffs.

Fambo: Hard to count Fambo out. Every year I think he’s not paying attention because he’s not on the DC but let me tell you, he pays attention. Fambo finished 2nd last year and at the end of the season most people still didn’t know who he was. He’s easy to overlook, and it can cost you. He’s another sneaky manager to keep peeking over your shoulder at.

Roscoe: Roscoe comes to play. If he can get out of the gate with a solid draft he’ll be a factor. Roscoe is great at picking up the FA that others overlook. They go on to have great years. Don’t be fooled by Roscoe 6th place finish last year. He tried a new draft strategy that backfired a bit and he started in a hole. This year he’ll either get back to the basics he’s used effectively his whole career or he’ll make an improvement on what he tried to do last year. You guys watch Roscoe. Don’t let him beat you in the draft or you’ll be sorry.

Lady Cat: Cat always seems to find a way to the playoffs. She makes deals that make people scratch their heads, appears to choose her players based on hair color and frets over the stitching in their uniforms. She’s kind of like the little ‘ol granny with a 9mm in her purse. Don’t be fooled by the mistress of feline. She hangs tough and plays hard. She won’t beat herself. The Panthers posted a .287 BA and a 3.23 ERA in Pinetar last year. She knows what she’s doing…

Duff: This will be a pivotal for Duff. He has the talent, he proved that last year with a playoff berth. He’ll need to be much more attentive overall to have a chance against the monsters in this league though. I’ve heard he finished with school or whatever it was he was doing the last two years that somewhat affected his play. If Duff is back full force he’s a sleeper. Is he good enough to take the title? I don’t think so. Can he make the playoffs? Sure.

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